Batman Porno Story: Whos Using Who Chapter Three

Sometime
the next day, Oswald Cobblepot woke from a restless sleep with a
groan. He turned on the small, uncomfortable bed and tried to go back
to sleep. He couldnt do much else in his padded cell at Arkham
Asylum. Why did they send him to this damn place, he asked in his
mind. He probably wouldnt mind if he had a choice between prison
and Arkham. At least in prison, your fellow inmates dont breakdown
and shit themselves because of some bad Schizophrenic hallucinations.

Chirp.

Huh?
Penguin got out of bed, barely hearing the chains of his shackles and
saw, perched on the doors window bars, Little Finch. What are
you doing here, Finch? He asked, quietly, so no guards heard him.
Finch tweeted in response before flying into the cell and landing on
Oswalds shoulder. Ozzy offered his other arm for the bird to perch
on, to get a better look at something.

Finch
hopped on Penguins arm and chirped. Oswald saw wrapped around
Finchs tiny body was a piece of paper and a pencil attached with a
rubber band. Come here, little guy. Oz muttered as he gently
grabbed the bird and took off the note and pencil. He unfolded the
lined paper and sat on his bed, with Finch on his shoulder

Ozzy,
It read Sorry
bout the cops nabbin ya. Dont worry about your birds, Ill
take care of em for you. Bart may be crazy, but hes good with
animals, just like his aunt (me). I got an old friend on the Inside
with you to try and take SOME of the pain off of your stay in Arkham.
Ill see what I can do for you on the Outside, but until I get
something, we could be pen-pals. You listened to my stories, what are
yours? Signed, Scarlet Leo Stersmat… P.S. Cranes are your Friends.

The
bottom half of the paper was blank.

What?!Pen-pals?
Oswald asked outloud After framing me for Arson?! Penguin
crumpled the paper in his hand and tossed it across his cell. He
leaned against the wall and asked Cranes are your friends?
What does that even mean?! Finch flew over to the crumpled ball of
paper and landed next to it. The bird looked at it for a second
before pecking at it. Chirp.

As
if I ever worry about you guys. He laughed slightly.

Penguin!
An orderly barked as the cell door opened. Time for Therapy. he
announced as more guards came closer. The small group of guards were
extra cautious, they always were when an escaped prisoner was
returned. Clearly, they were trying to stop all their patients from
constantly escaping, but Penguin knew hed find another way out.
Just probably not today.

He
sighed and got up before letting the orderlies lead him down the
winding halls in Arkham. He thought of Scarlets mansion and its
halls. Why even think of her? She let him
take the fall for her thugs crime! A sheer outrage in his book.
Not only that, but by the way she always knew where he was, she was
probably stalking him.

The
guards opened a door to a room with little other then a couch and a
man siting in a very comfortable looking chair with a notepad in his
hand. Those wont be necessary. the man said, pointing the
end of his pencil at Penguins shackles.

The
leading Orderly laughed. Youre new here, arent cha? He
asked, pushing Penguin into the room.

Just
started yesterday, Ill have you know. The doctor answered.

You
poor man, The orderly sighed before slamming the door behind
Penguin.

Look,
Oswald stated, walking up to the doctor Im in a bad mood. Ive
talked to more doctors then youve talked to woman. So, how about
we just skip the ridiculous psychoanalysis, today, hmm? He laid
down on the couch and turned away from the doctor. Im gonna
take a nap and you can go have a lunch date with your inflatable
girlfriend.

The
doctor smirked. Well, if you think its for the best… He
said, getting out of his chair I supposed I cant make you talk
about yourself…

Damn
straight. Penguin muttered.

Youre
probably just a nobodys bastard son or something. The doctor
said, opening the door.

Penguin
shot up and squawked What?!

If
you dont want to talk about yourself, the man said There
must not be anything about you worth talking about…

You
have no idea who youre talking to, Doc! Penguin yelled. I
am a Cobblepot!

Well,
Mr. Cobblepot, then that means, I am a Crane. A Dr. Jonathan Crane to
be exact.

Cranes
are your Friends…
Scarlet couldnt have meant this
Crane, could she?

Now,
Crane closed the door, Are you going to prove me wrong, and that
you are
worth
talking about, or what?

—

JARVIS!
The scream echoed through the clean, sterilized laboratory. Jarvis
cringed a little as Scarlet stormed into the room, with Zeke and his
son quickly blocking the only exit.

Alice,
The man sighed, calming down Im a little surprised to see you
here at all.

Its
Scarlet now, Tetch! The woman growled.

Jarvis
shrugged I prefer Alice. He admitted before turning back to his
work. A growl and suddenly he was spun around with his coat in
Scarlets tight grasp. Pardon me. He muttered before
readjusting his top hat so it was squarely centered on his head
again.Continue.

Why
wasnt I given an update on your research?

Its
simple. Jarvis answered with a smile. We havent found
anything new to re-GAK!
Jarviss body was tackled to the ground by a large hyena with an
eyepatch, the animals entire body positioned to kill. Zeke
extended his claws and put them on the mans throat.

Dont
you even DARE
handing that BULL
SHIT to
your superior officer! Zeke roared.

Dont
make me let him do it. Scarlet said bending over Jarvis You
know what he does when he sees blood? No answer, Jarvis was barely
able to breath, much less talk. He goes in a feeding frenzy. Like
a hungry shark. She smiled. You wouldnt believe
how many people this guys eaten because of that little habit.
She laughed Now… She grinned widely as she got on one knee
and gently brushed a stray strand of blond hair out of Jarviss
face. Are you sure you have nothing to report?

Zeke
released the pressure he had put on the mans throat.

Maybe
there are a few
thing we made worth showing… he whimpered, readjusting his hat.

—

Everyday,
every day after Dad died, Mom always made me carry an umbrella.
Oswald said. Shed pull me out of class to go change into clean,
dry clothes and give me an umbrella everytime I got caught in the
rain.

That
must be so embarrassing to a kid. Dr. Crane agreed

Cant
believe you tricked me into this. Penguin grumbled.

You
can stop at anytime, and prove that I was right and that you AND
your family arent worth talking about.

I
will NOT
give in to you! Penguin yelled.

And
in doing so, you are giving into what I want. Crane smiled.

Uh…
Penguin thought about it and the man was right. No matter what he
did, he would either give himself away to the Psychologist or walk
out with him and his family name insulted. It was definitely a
Lose-Lose situation and there wasnt anything worse to a
self-respecting criminal then your therapist walking mental circles
around you.

Tell
me, growing up with a Mother like that. Dr. Crane asked Do you
fear the rain because she raised you in fear of rain?

No,
Im not scared of rain.

Then
what are
you scared of?

What
does THAT
have to do with ANYTHING?!

Penguin….
expressing… rage… Crane said as he wrote the words down.

Ill
show you
Rage! Penguin yelled.

Rage
is a type of defense mechanism. This little episode must mean weve
touch on a sensitive issue for you.

Oh,
my God, Youre a quack, arent you? Penguin asked

Sir,
if I looked like you, I wouldnt talk about birds and quacks! Got
that? Now, what do you fear?!

When
did the nut take over the nuthouse? Penguin asked Crane.

Crane
shot out of his chair and pinned Penguin down on the couch Answer
the question! He pulled a aerosol spray canister from his back
pants pocket. Answer or Ill find out myself!

Chirp.

Crane
stepped away from Penguin to see a small brown-grey bird on the floor
watching them. Finch? Penguin asked. He heard the door open,
letting Finch fly out.

Are
you ok, sir? The orderly asked I thought I heard fighting.

Crane
straightened his tie and brushed some dust off of his suits
sleeves. Im fine. Were all fine. he ran a hand down his
hair to smooth down the wildness of it. I think were done for
now. He said before sitting back in his chair. Same time
tomorrow, if you please.

You
gotta be kidding! Penguin yelled Hes a quack!

A
what? The guard asked

A
Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack!

Youre
The Penguin, the guard said Not a duck, move!

But
he!

I
said, move it! The orderly grabbed Penguin and, with some help
from others started pulling him away.

That
man is Insane!
Penguin yelled as he was dragged away. HE
belongs in this place!
NOT ME!

Crane
leaned against the door frame and told a nearby guard I think he
likes me. He smiled. Have him come back later today once he
calms down.

Youre
crazy, man. The orderly said grimly.

They
said the same about Galileo when he said the Earth revolved around
the sun until we all learned he was right. Crane said before going
back into the room

—

Finch
navigated his way out of a window and hurried to his new roost. A few
minutes flight and he came upon the great mansion of Scarlet
Stersmat, with the owner awaiting the birds return on the fifth
floor balcony, with Owl, Raven and Vulture. Finch chirped and Scarlet
held out her arm for the bird.

Finch
landed on her arm and hopped up to her shoulder. Scarlet sat on a
lawn chair and said Ok, one chirp for things are fine, two
chirps for bad things this way comes.

Finch
hopped up and down on her shoulder chirping frantically. Finally
Scarlet resorted to shutting the tiny birds beak with her fingers.
Something bag musta happened. She She stood up and when inside
the mansion yelling Zeke, get the boy! We got work to do!

—

Penguin
let out a squawk as he fall on the ground before his cell door was
slammed shut. He picked himself up, mutter angrily. If he wasnt
insane already, this place would do the trick and tip him over the
edge. As soon as he got to his feet, he heard the light flapping of
wings and Finch came back through the door window. He quickly saw
another note attached.

What
does SHE
want NOW?!
He asked, pulling off the note from the bird.

As
I write this, I dont know what has happened but Finch returned to
me in a panic and I intend to find out what.

Finally,
youre good for something… Penguin told the tiny bird. Finch
hopped on his shoulder, chirping. Penguin glanced at the bird only
for a second.

The
note continued Finch
is going to serve as our personal mail-bird until the trial next
week. Just stay in Arkham until then and dont cause too much
trouble. (Youll look better in court) Meantime, Hounder and
Buckshot will try to keep people from ruffling your feathers, but
they can only do so much without losing their cover. Signed Scarlet.
P.S. How do you keep the birds from bugging you? Crow wont shut up
and Owls barfing little mouse furball all over my office! Its
SO
gross!

Trial?
What trial? He only had a trial when he first got caught over half a
year ago. Ever since then, the police only added more charges to his
records and sent him back to Arkham.

Hounder…
That was one of the men that he saw at Scarlets place yesterday.
The hungry brown-haired guy. What concerned him was that the last guy
Scarlet sent to help him turned out to be not as sane or loyal
to her words as she thought. So, until that woman that seemed to grow
crazier by the letter left his life, Hell have to keep to himself
and escape the first chance he gets.

—

Crane
looked nervously at the group of men as he slowly backed against the
wall. I did exactly what you asked of me, Scar. He told the
woman as she made her way into the room. I got hired in this trash
heap and I got assigned to the bird-man.

You
threatened him with your toxin. Scarlet growled. Surprising,
since I ordered you to destroy all existing traces and files on that
stuff.

I
made a new strand of my Hallucinogen. You didnt say anything about
that.

Destroy
the new strain. She ordered. And no new Toxins. She added.

Do
I sense Fear in the All-Powerful Scar? Dr. Crane smiled as he
spoke

The
only thing I fear is the dissection table and a scrawny little
scarecrow like you getting too big for his field. The woman
answered before holding out her hand Hand it over.

Crane
looked at the five men growling at him and grimaced before pulled out
the aerosol can and throwing it on the floor. Zeke bent down to pick
it up and placed it in Scarlets hand. This better be the last I
hear about you from Ozzy, Scar growled, Cranes anger barely
registered in her mind. Or there will
be sever consequences! I
am the leader! You
are the Employee! FOLLOW
ORDERS!

Scars
men followed her out of the room. As soon as the door closed, Bart
muttered Three… Two… One…

GAH!!
came from the room followed by the distinctive thud of a chair being
tipped over Bart laughed quietly as he and the others followed their
Boss out of Arkham Asylum.

Dr.
Crane pounded a fist against the hard stone walls and yelled If
I have to take another order from that BITCH, Im going to LOSE
IT!
He growled mumbled words under his breath before sitting on the
patients couch with a loud sigh. He tilted his head back and ran a
hand over his black hair. That woman has no idea what a
scarecrow like me can do. He told himself out loud. Im
smarter then shell ever
be. he said. That bitch will pay for treating me like this….
He said quietly to him said with a hint of a laugh in his voice.

—

G-10.

Penguin
crossed the number off on his Bingo cards. Honestly, he hated this
game and it showed through the several crumpled cards on his table
near the back of the Recreation Room.

N-28.
The orderly called.

Oswald
sighed. Things really couldnt get much more boring. But at least,
he hadnt gone back to that insane doctor again. Yes, he was
brought to him, but the man would leave a few seconds later to leave
Penguin alone and return before the guards came to take Penguin to
his cell. Dr. Crane had been doing this for about a week now.

B-43.

You
sunk my battleship! A inmate up front cried. All those innocent
people! the patient put his head on the table and sobbed You
killed them! You bastard! What did they ever do to you?! He
started pounding a fist on his table. Penguin groaned and put his
head in his hand. Here we go again with this guy Damn
you! Damn you all to Hell!He
screamed before crying louder.

The
performance was so overdone, it was almost enough to make Penguin
laugh.

You
the Penguin? A man asked. Oswald looked to see a well-muscled
brown-haired man and a thinner red-headed companion.

Who
wants ta know? Penguin snapped at the men.

Names
Hounder, friend.. The brunet answered, holding his head up a
little higher with pride.

I
aint your friend. Penguin immediately answered.

And
hes Buckshot. Hounder continued, pointing to the frazzled
looking red-head. Buckshot took the seat next to Penguin and Hounder
stole a chair from a nearby table.

Did
I tell you if you could sit here? Penguin asked in annoyance.

You
didnt not tell us. Buckshot said with a smile.

And
since were here… Hounder started we might as well be
introduced now.

Why
me? Penguin asked the men

Scars
orders. they answered at once. Then Hounder said Shes taken
quiet a shine for you.

Usually
Scarlet hates men. But youre the exception.

We
met last
week!
Penguin said loudly to the men.

Scar
always works fast. Buckshot told him.

Plus
she was kinda watching your TV antics for a while, so… Hounder
started.

Shes
been stalking me? Oswald asked.

Uh…
I guess, kinda, when you put it that way.

I
knew it. Well, thats just perfect!

To
her, its a sign of affection. Hounder said innocently.

That
doesnt make it any less disturbing. Penguin told the men. Now,
go bug Riddler.

Nope,
sorry. Buckshot said happily before putting his feet on the table
and leaning his chair back were here to bug you and you alone.

Wow,
Penguin said flatly as he crossed another square off on his Bingo
card I feel so special.

You
should. Hounder said Tomorrow, you go to court for reevaluation
and you could walk out a free sane man.

Huh?
What court? Penguin asked, suddenly finding the conversation
interesting.

Scar
got you a date in court. Hounder answered Shes hired lawyers
to prove that youre sane enough to be released on in the streets a
free man. It IS
tomorrow, you know.

Get
your record scrubbed squeaky clean, too. Buckshot added.

Really?
Penguin asked

Hell,
yeah! The men said.

God,
we have GOT
to stop doing that… Hounder muttered.

Why
is she doing any of this? Oswald asked.

Because,
and I quote, It more fun that way.